so many thoughts, just one post

thought 1:
someone asked me how it is that i can be so nice to her
when she seems to not bother
i mean, if she doesn't bother, then why should i right?
i know it's not within my means to control her
i don't have a right to tell her what to do
that's why i'm not forcing her
i want it to be God calling her
like how He drew me
if it's not God's timing, it's not the right timing
with God, there will always be second chances even when no one else thinks so
that's how people are saved
because they are given a chance
and they cherish that chance
i don't want to give up on her just because of that incident
God didn't give up on me
i dragged it for as long as i could
no doubt that she might as well
but that's what faith is all about
trusting God even when it seems impossible
that's when He'll show us that it pays to trust Him

thought 2:
things aren't always as they seem
i thought that the friendship with her was well something that was gonna last.
at least for this year and next year
but people change so the relationship changes
maybe i've changed
God's telling me to move on
and i know i will soon
i will always be a friend
but there is no way we can have the same friendship as before
and this will make another separation easier to make

thought 3:
it is time i started to really think about the advice i'm getting
not just nod and go yeahhhh
but really think about it
sometimes,it's not about what i want anymore
it is about what God wants now
it should've been from the start

thought 4:
i realise that no matter how much i think
even about certain issues
i can still focus on doing what i have to do
thank You
You know that i need to think about it
or else it'll just be harder when the time comes
You know i'll make a decision i'll regret if i don't think it through
there's a time and place for everything
and You give me all that
You help me make time for everything

thought 5:
i think i will separate from them
i will have to
i will feel so bad for some time
i don't think i could face any one of them after this
i don't think they'd go against me
but i cannot stand the disappointed looks
or the confused looks
or even worse: the questions "why?"
i wouldn't know what to say or what to do
ignore me: i think i'm just going nutsss (:
its important to know that i should be seeking favour from God rather than man
i don't know what i need
mannn,this is going to take more than me
but that's always been the case
everything takes more than just me
it takes God too

everybody tells me not to think
and to focus on what's important EXAMS
i know,thanks for all the concern
i promised i would manage the time the best i can
and i am trying
for those who believe i'm trying: thank you for believing
time will tell

i should employ my so-called annoying "personal tactic"