a fulfilling day in many ways

I woke up at 7 today!
I think I was unconsciously preparing for school on Monday!
Great that school's starting by the way...
It's just been too long.
Okay, so I went for Kumon and was trying desperately to clear this mound of corrections before 12.
I ended up bringing more than half home as homework.
Met Peijun for discipleship and that session was a timely reminder, considering the fact that I'm going into a new environment.
It's the first time I prayed aloud and I was nervous.
I think I'm just not used to speaking aloud when it comes to this.
Haha, I had alot of practice today.
After discipleship, there was a prayer meeting for fasting.
I prayed aloud again but I was less nervous.
I guess all I needed was to give myself a chance.
Usually, I freak and end up not praying.
Hence, it doesn't matter how many opportunities and how much exposure God provides.
You can pray that He'll give you chances but if you don't take your chances, nothing's gonna materialise.
And you must always pray for courage.
Following the prayer meeting was service.
In place of the sermon, we watched a video.
"Fireproof" is seriously good.
It was so moving that we girls started crying.
The whole row minus Henson were like dabbing our eyes with tissue.
It was really sweet and touching.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PORTION IS ON THE EMO SIDE. YOU SHOULD NOT READ COS I'M JUST VENTING ALRIGHT? I DO NOT WISH TO AFFECT YOU IN ANY WAY SO YEAH, JUST SCROLL PAST THIS.

The video made me tear.
The memory made me cry.
During the post-video song, I just let it flow.
It's like everything rushed back to me.
Wherever, whenever, it seems like something just triggers the memory.
Hate it when that happens because I just want to move on.
I willed myself to stop but I guess God didn't want me to stop till later on.
I don't want to forget but I don't want to be stuck in the past.
I don't know why it haunts me when there wasn't a deep connection.
It could be because I saw her suffering.
I wish I could have suffered in her place.
Nope, not being suicidal or sadistic or whatever.
I just wish she had gone peacefully.
I realise that this has been a more emotional period for me.
Perhaps it's because I have more time to let my mind run wild.
I think that I've grown more comfortable talking about it now though.
Thanks to God and encouraging people around me.
But I really wonder when it'll stop.

IT IS NOW SAFE TO CONTINUE READING.

We went to Joshua's house after service.
His house is near to the flat land that used to be my house.
Aw man...
His house is nice...
I'm the only one who's never been there.
We ate, watched TV and discussed travel plans.
May not be able to go even though its during the holidays. :(
I doubt my mum would allow that, seriously.
Anyway, before eating dinner, I got a call from Siew Yee.
I was the last to get to the table and therefore, the one to say grace.
Yes, Siew Yee, that's your fault, haha...
Never mind, it's EXPOSURE for me. :)
Had dinner and left with Peijun and Sze Ern.
Thanks for escorting me to the bus-stop!
Hmm, miracles of miracles, I didn't get scolded as much as I thought I would be.
Thank God for that... :)

I'm going to sleep now.
Goodabye and God bless.