perhaps its for the best

We can never stop taking things for granted.
Its only when you've lost something that you realise how important it is to you.
This is the second week of sitting out training.
As much as I wish I were able to swim, I am thinking about 3 things:
1. How I used to take my body for granted
2. How I've been taking GOD for granted
3. How I may have been misinterpreting His signs wrongly
Its scary to think that after all you've done, you were actually headed the wrong way.
Its even worse to think about it and realise that you're truly lost.
Not stranded or abandoned by GOD but that you can't see where to go.
I guess that for me, He's been throwing signs my way all the while.
All the injuries and the frustration were signs?
I have to thank all the people who gave me advice and tried to cheer me up, especially my cellgroup.
Special thanks to Peijun: Thanks for praying for me! You let me know that you'd be there for me no matter how busy you are. Love you so much and I'll keep praying for you too :)
To Szern, Belicia, Shuen and Bryan: Love you all for being there for me and giving advice, I really appreciate it :)
To Tessa, Amanda, Ivan, Sydney and Nicolette: Thanks for trying your best to cheer me up :)
Szern was telling me that if she was in my shoes now, she probably would've quit by now.
The thing is I always felt that this was GOD's challenge for me because during training, I had to rely on Him more.
Is this really the path He wants me to take?
Whatever it is, I know that now's the time that is really going to test my faith.
I was worrying about it for ages.
I should stop doing that because it just means I don't trust Him enough.
This is something I'm gonna have to pray about over the next week or so.
If its not what GOD wants, it's not what I want either.
It's that simple.
Something just occurred to me though: if I quit, where do I go?
See, one decision after another.
This is gonna take a lot of willpower and faith.
Change is gonna take place and sacrifices will have to be made.
But no sacrifice is greater than what GOD sacrificed for us.
If I have to let go, I will.
I realised that I'm holding on to a lot of things, both past and present.
It's really time to give everything to GOD and leave it all on the altar.
The present is easier to let go of than the past.
If your past keeps coming back to you, it's time to really pray about it.
The dreams came and they just might stay till I choose to really give everything to GOD.
Every struggle is supposed to bring you a step closer to GOD because midway through the struggle, you notice that you're relying on your own strength and you turn back and give it to GOD.
I'm just going to let everything go...