promises

ah~~~
may not be able to go for the Philippines OCIP ):
and i just lost my report.
oh well.

when you no longer need to run the race, at least for the time being, the next best thing you can do is to push others to run their race, and you do your best to help them wherever you can.
we would take initiative to help a friend, why wouldn't we take the initiative to help the people whom we say we love.
it is true that sin once resulted in dysfunctional relationships, but that's never an excuse.
the past can never be our excuse.
we must remember our past so that we remember how we came to be the people we are today.

tsk, how could i have been so ridiculously careless
something starts off cool
people laugh at it, fool around
you get into it and it becomes a joke to you too
then you internalize the joke
then that's no longer cool
whether you come clean moments later, hours later, days later, years later
it doesn't change what it was from the beginning
the subconscious reliving of it day by day shows addiction

it never hit me hard till you said it
there were hints thrown
just goes to show that i gotta take it more seriously
attach more importance to it
its not about feeling bad or not (but of course, that is what happened)
ironically, what i treasured about what was happening was the trust that came with honesty
saying i'm sorry doesn't mend the damage
it is only the stepping stone
stopping there will not get us anywhere
i'll set out to make things right

i know i'm tired of it
its become to me like what cocaine is to a cocaine addict
time to quit
no starting whenever i feel like it
it started the minute i said forgive me
from then on, it's about damage control

i'll never forget the hurt it can bring
it really isn't enough to treat the people you love like the way you treat yourself
because they really deserve so much more

a promise is a promise
the promise is not promising i'll change
the promise is actually going about changing

time to start doing something