To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2Corinthians12:7-10

Father, I can take it. I trust You. Help me to move on to something greater with You. You are my strength when every other part of me is weak.

No matter how hard the fall, I will get up

Wow, it's my 100th post :O

Nothing much to blog about, results are coming in.

PW today was awesome, God came through for me!
There was so little time to pull off that presentation BUT we did it, with Him by our side.
That goes to show He's always there, whether it's a dry run or the real thing.
Each day, I pray He'll increase my faith.

It's just not enough to do what you think you can do, part of your role is to encourage others to do the same.
Because God gives you the ability to do so much more...
It is not an individual thing.
If we don't push together, then what?
We can only reach it together.

Don't think too much, that's the way!

"Prayers are for dead people, for the hopeless"
That, friends, is the joke of the year...
I wonder how that came about but I hope I have set the record straight.
Prayers are to sustain those alive and resuscitate those dead.

Have you ever tried closing your eyes
Just you and you alone in a room
And then inviting Him into the deepest part of you
And offering Him all you can
Whether you're playing the song or singing along with the music or just whispering to Him
The whole block may hear you
Or no one may hear you
Either way, He hears you
It's something I'm setting aside time for
Simply because I need Him more than ever
Simply because He deserves so much more than what I've been giving Him
It will never be enough
But it's time to stop short-changing Him
It's time to run
Straight
To
Him
Not gonna be easy
But He never said it'd be
God, I'm running straight to You, nothing else will matter


Praise You In The Storm (Casting Crowns)

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
And raised me up again
My strength is almost gone how can I carry on
If I can't find You

And as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain "I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes onto the hills where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Watch as the giant falls
I'm gonna give him the blow he can't stand up from.

sweetness

okay, we start with negatives then we end with positives.
then we'll have a happy ending with more positives than negatives.
yes?
YES!
amen?
AMEN!
okay, let's DO this :P


*as you can tell, i'm just about going nuts*


-ve


#1: PW
I really hope my group doesn't have to present tomorrow. To put it mildly, we're not ready. That's MILDLY. I cannot believe this, we're the first group to start on it and the last one to finish. Correction: NOT EVEN FINISHED. I don't understand it at all. I don't know why I stayed up just to do it. I don't know why I bother. I don't know why we bother to distribute the workload when there's no point, when it always ends up being split two ways instead of four. MAJOR ANNOYANCE. MAJOR. MAJOR. I have to settle my script. But the powerpoint's not here yet. Just a gentle reminder: PRESENTATION TOMORROW. God, pleasepleaseplease help me!





+ve


#2: So how?
Well. Just got to face the giant then! I don't have a strategy planned out but rest assured, I'm not going to be the one going down. I know I'll be victorious, it's my destiny, ain't it? The training can get on your nerves but at the end of the day, it's so that you can give the Goliath in your life a knock he can never get up from. I've made enemies with negativity!


#4: Cafe Duty
Hahahaha what an experience, really enjoyed it! It's fun when you serve God (: snapple: 2.80, canned drinks: 1.00, 3 fishballs: 1.00, 3 nuggets: 1.50, 3 seaweed chicken: 1.50, 1 chicken wing: 1.20, cup corn: 1.80! whoo! I remembered wahaha, aren't you all so so SO proud of me! there were disasters, such as 'THE GREAT BUTTER THAT WOULDN'T SOFTEN" disaster, "THE GREAT BUTTER MELTING INTO LIQUID" disaster, "THE WONDERFUL MISSING COIN" disaster and "THE CORN KEEPS FLYING EVERYWHERE" disaster, just to name a few :P Well, like Pastor said, events do not determine who we are (: funfunfun!


#5: Egg Peeling
Welcome to Module 00001 - Egg Peeling.
Golden Egg Yolk Rule Number One: Do not pick salted eggs. After peeling, you won't HAVE any more eggs to eat. Most will end up split or the egg yolk will be more or less exposed. The ugly eggs will then be used for the egg sandwiches.
Golden Egg Yolk Rule Number Two: According to 'Egg Peeling for Beginners' by Ng Sze Ern, always put salt in the water when you boil the eggs so when you try to get the shell off, you don't take bits of egg with you and it becomes so ... crevice-like. So that your first perfect one is not the last egg! (like mine!)
That is it for this module! Watch this space for updates!


#6: A Guide To Ng Sze Ern Chapter 1
A lesson learnt by Timothy - It is dangerous to sit in front of Sze Ern when water is flicked at her. I think this is self-explanatory. Very high frequency. Nothing less. Shattered my eardrums too.
A lesson learnt by Alex - Don't flick water at Sze Ern, covenant of sensitivity :/


#7: A Guide To Ng Sze Ern Chapter 2
A lesson learnt by Alex - It is violating the covenant of sensitivity to sit with Sze Ern when she is eating chicken. She will tell you how the chicken died for you and make you feel so guilt-ridden.



#8: A Guide To Ng Sze Ern Chapter 3
A lesson learnt by Alex - Sze Ern is an amazing Chinese-English translator. As the saying goes: ginger, still is old the hot (:


#9: A Guide To Ng Sze Ern Chapter 4
A lesson learnt by Alex - Sze Ern is an amazing artist. The figure below shows her aptitude for art and I believe that this is evidence of her hidden talent.

in case you have no idea what it is, it is a peanut butter and jam alexwich.

that is all for now, have an amazing week ahead!

Facing The Giants

With You by Mark Willard

You have been so good to me
How can I find the words to thank You?
Healer of broken hearts and broken dreams
Lord, I will never cease to praise You.

With You, all things are possible.
Like an eagle I can soar.
With You the giants fall
They rise no more.
With You I overcome when fear and faith collide.
There’s nothing I can’t do
Anything is possible with You.

I am constantly amazed
You are a God forever faithful.
As I look back on my history of grace,how could I be anything but grateful?

No mountain is too high, there’s no valley that’s too deep
You’re calling me to walk by faith so I will take a
Leap...take a Leap

Anything, anything is possible with You
With You
It’s possible with You.

This song really spoke to me when I was watching 'Facing The Giants' with my brother. God is just so amazing, I look at all He's done and I cannot help but be in awe.
The only reason I'm not inadequate is because of Him.

promises

ah~~~
may not be able to go for the Philippines OCIP ):
and i just lost my report.
oh well.

when you no longer need to run the race, at least for the time being, the next best thing you can do is to push others to run their race, and you do your best to help them wherever you can.
we would take initiative to help a friend, why wouldn't we take the initiative to help the people whom we say we love.
it is true that sin once resulted in dysfunctional relationships, but that's never an excuse.
the past can never be our excuse.
we must remember our past so that we remember how we came to be the people we are today.

tsk, how could i have been so ridiculously careless
something starts off cool
people laugh at it, fool around
you get into it and it becomes a joke to you too
then you internalize the joke
then that's no longer cool
whether you come clean moments later, hours later, days later, years later
it doesn't change what it was from the beginning
the subconscious reliving of it day by day shows addiction

it never hit me hard till you said it
there were hints thrown
just goes to show that i gotta take it more seriously
attach more importance to it
its not about feeling bad or not (but of course, that is what happened)
ironically, what i treasured about what was happening was the trust that came with honesty
saying i'm sorry doesn't mend the damage
it is only the stepping stone
stopping there will not get us anywhere
i'll set out to make things right

i know i'm tired of it
its become to me like what cocaine is to a cocaine addict
time to quit
no starting whenever i feel like it
it started the minute i said forgive me
from then on, it's about damage control

i'll never forget the hurt it can bring
it really isn't enough to treat the people you love like the way you treat yourself
because they really deserve so much more

a promise is a promise
the promise is not promising i'll change
the promise is actually going about changing

time to start doing something

Proverbs 22:28 - Do not remove an ancient boundary stone set up by your forefathers (NIV)

Boundaries bring security.
Boundaries create freedom.
Boundaries provide direction.
Boundaries allow you to explore and establish your identity.
Boundaries generate purpose.

That was from "Dating Delilah" by Judah Smith

Yes, this is what we need to know. It gives us the space to develop as a family. When you do God's will even in the tiny things, it allows you the room to grow more than ever. It may not exactly be a boundary. But if you feel its a boundary, this is the way to look at it. As something that will point out areas of growth to you.

I heard at the ORPC sermon that one of the purposes a law serves is to point out where sin is in our lives. I think it has served that purpose, it points out where we need to improve on. It's actually rather obvious to all of us, we just don't wanna admit it. If we don't do this, these will always be ideals we lay down and hope and pray for but they can never be reality without the right attitude. Everything is based on the heart.

More and more, I am convinced of the importance of Saturday. Thank You for answering my prayer and actually showing me things that help me to finally understand its importance. That's cool (:

yeaaaaaa promos are over (:
awesome awesome, God's blessed me so much!
i feel that this exam, i did walk with Him through it so that's cool (:
let's have a "examination de-brief"!

okay when i mean passing, i'm not talking about an S grade but a D grade. that's my standard pass 'cause its actually 50 to 54 marks. that should not be that hard to get, really.

GP: i hope what i did for the composition was enough! lots of people found the compre difficult but i found it alright... my last grade was a C, should be able to maintain or move up to a B!

Chemistry: i love the MCQ part cause i could do it! my last MCQ was so bad, this one i'm so confident of passing. my last grade for this was a U, that's actually the lowest grade you can get. not good obviously. but well, i'm confident i will pass!

Economics: well, i love the case study part 'cause i could answer everything. essay was rushed but i hope to pass! last grade for econs was a U ): this time it should be at least a D!

Math: well, it's the only one i did well in with a B for midyears (: i'll bet i can do that again, maybe even get an A (:

Chinese: yessss, i should get a B for this one!

ELL: hmm. uhh. well. i got an E the last time so i'm hoping to move up from there. i think the adaptation portion went well so i should get a D or a C!

okay, that's the exam de-brief. actually, now that i look at it, the 4h2s thing may be outttt. 'cause supposed to get a C average across the 4h2s. well, but i know i did my best. under normal circumstances, meaning 3h2s and 1h1, i would've been able to pass on to j2 with the predicted results. but really, i've never worked so hard for exams. i cannot believe all the things i did for chem and econs. much more than i did for O levels.
nvm. over. don't wanna think about it. focus on my post-exam mission (:
let's just wait for 27th october kay.
i've never been very keen on telling people whether i did well or not.
just don't like talking about it haha.
i'll just smile and said i did okay or not okay.
not that grades aren't important to me, i just like to do what i have to and know that i did what i could.
results are another thing.
huh, i bet i know who'll be super frantic the night before hahaha.
nvm, 27th october :P

My Second Chance

Take my hands and my feet
Guide them in Your every way
That their work
May glorify Your Name

I just need Your touch
More than words can express
Crying out to You, Lord
I pray I will be Yours forever

Might have fallen short
Tried to fight a war, still stumbling in defeat
But all that’s gonna change
Might have had a past
Walked a broken road, been covered in debris
I know that’s gonna change

Take my soul and my spirit
Give me strength through every day
That I may fulfill
Your plan for me

Take my heart and my mind
Make me pure in every thought
That I may stay
On the path You made

Take all I am and what I have
Draw me close and not let go
That I will know
I am Yours each day

I just need Your touch
More than words can express
Crying out to You, Lord
I pray I will be Yours forever

Might have fallen short
Tried to fight a war, still stumbling in defeat
But all that’s gonna change
Might have had a past
Walked a broken road, been covered in debris
I know that’s gonna change

‘Cause I am washed by blood that’s unseen
You took the place that was meant for me
You paid the price
For a second chance
And there was a body broken for me
You credited worth to undeserving me
You sacrificed
For my second chance

written by Him, I just type it out
seems like I wrote it, but it's all Him
give Him the glory
'cause it is written by God to help us with worship

>> typed this one out while I was relaxing and celebrating the almost-end-of-promos. will work on a tune for this one, definitely. at first I thought it seemed too much like a song for new Christians. then I realised, all of us do need to remember this: how we are here at all. when we forget that, we forget who we are. we all need to be reminded of this at some point of time. we need to remember how important that sacrifice He made is and know the sacrecy of the covenant we take as well as make. how appropriate that this should come as Nissi G.A.P. signs the covenant on Saturday! as brothers and sisters, this sacrifice is all the more sacred. this is what makes us brothers and sisters in the first place, bonded as a body in Christ by His blood. our covenant is important and should not be just a piece of paper to any of us. this covenant, in fact, represents the essence of having a cellgroup, it ties in with our very identity. we are His children, we are a family brought together by Him. i really pray we will treasure this covenant. maybe, to some, the importance of the covenant is overrated. but, really, it is a choice how much importance you want to attach to it. God attached so much importance to covenants in the Bible. He treasured promises made and that's why He tried to keep His promises. He knew covenants meant nothing if they were not honoured. but He didn't dictate how important it must be to us. how do we view this covenant? is this a contract that lasts for a time period? or a promise we want to keep renewing, that will last a lifetime? let's treasure this promise made! it is our identity. now it is our prerogative to align our activity with our identity. the activity has two components: physical and mental. mental comes before physical; our attitude towards it has to be right before we can sign it on paper and in our hearts, before it can truly be meaningful. you can only truly sign it if you know what it means to you. this covenant is a direct promise to God that your relationship with your brother or sister means something to you, that you will love this brother or sister. why is it direct? back to the whole point of me typing this. it is direct because it is Him who links you and this person. blood is thicker than water. we all know that and treat it like a fact. but is this blood that links us thicker than ourselves? is it bigger than we are? my view is that it is. to me, if you believe He is greater than you, so is His blood. it is greater than how cool others think it is. in any case, how cool it is still boils down to the importance you place on it. actions speak a thousand words, if the person who carries it out really means it. are you committed to your identity in Him, committed enough to sign on and keep it? remember that this identity comes with being bonded by His blood to your family, in my case, Nissi G.A.P.. i think that this bondage with my identity is not a burden, it is not the kind of bondage that wears you down. it is these relationships that have helped me to grow. every bit of it is important to me and that is why the covenant is important to me.

(yes, I am done with this essay, which I just realised is so much longer than the actual song haha)

essays, ionic equilibria and market failure

yeaaaaaaaaaa.
promos half over!!!!
this is called rejoicing too early.
but still, achievement: i've never mugged so hard in my life for chem and econs.
*standing ovation for alex!*
three more to go: math, chinese and linguistics
then as Amanda Thian would say: I'M FREEEEEEEE!
well, not completely but yeap, freedom in the short run is better than no freedom.
in fact, i'm getting so "into" studying that i might just continue studying even after promos.
need to keep going or my gears will get harder to start up.
like that Strepsils advertisement.
except that it's gonna take more than Strepsils to help me pick up the pace.
and after promos, i need to go full force for I&R and OP (PW stuff, if you don't know about this, that's the best, stay that way, trust me you don't wanna know)
i just realised that if a certain big thing still exists, i'll be coping with that too.
i predict that Amanda will be swamped then.
i pray it won't happen.
but i wouldn't have to worry so much if some people did what they were supposed to do :/
it's a bit too late for apologies and regrets, i really don't care what just happened.
you will not throw me offtrack thinking about how pissed off i was with the two of you.

STUFF #1: MY PROMOS
monday was GP --- i got to base my essay on saturday's sermon!
how cool is that!
hope it works out!
wednesday was chem --- everybody walked out so dazed after the paper.
in CJC, there is a joke.
when somebody thinks they're gonna fail promos, the person probably says:
HEY SOMEBODY BETTER BE MY FACILITATOR NEXT YEAR.
that is code for: i will be participating in next year's J1 orientation!
well.
for me, someone who does not do exceptionally well for chem, it was all right.
not too bad.
i think i tried my best, i just hope it's enough.
today was econs --- it went better than i expected.
i'm totally stunned that i managed to finish and that i managed to recall so much.
whatever i couldn't recall, i smoked my way through.
i think i managed to smoke adequately.
passing shouldn't be a problem for promos anymore.
i think what i'm worried about is if it's enough to let me keep my combination.
okay, enough thought, it would be more allocative efficient to channel my brain cells towards actual studying.

STUFF #2: MY INJURY COUNTER
blogs have blog counters.
alex has an alex counter.
don't panic, it's not to count how many alexes there are or can be.
it's to count the number of injuries i have.
total count for this week is 3: 2 cuts on the leg and a swollen palm.
all considered minor as compared to past experiences.
these statistics are also slightly better than the past.
i wonder if this injury thing is recurrent every month.
pastor has his accident prone-ness once every 10 years.
my accident prone-ness comes once every month.
still, i've learnt through trial and error that my injuries usually save me from something.
they are dubbed by my dear Peijun as my "God-given injuries".
oh i should also count the number of potential injuries i could've gotten.
this one is better, only 1 so far.
brace yourself.
i nearly fell down the stairs again.
THANK GOD THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
how do i do it?
i dunno, it kinda just happens.
i try not to let it happen too often, only on special occasions :P

okay, that's it for me

Through The Storm

Seems like the waves keep coming
Seems like my world is falling
Still there is strength to keep going
And I know You are here

Even as the waves crash down
I'll call out through the storm

Father I need You
More with every moment to pass
Just hold me tight till it's over
Please carry me through the storm

Each wave just seems bigger
With every step I feel weaker
Yet there is faith to keep going
I know You are here

Each wave brings something new
Each day I'm drawing closer to You
Your Spirit surrounds every part of me
I know You're right here