step up and step out for God

God blessed me with a good night's sleep last night so I'd be up for thinking today!

It's funny that when you're a leader, you encourage people to break their mould and when you're not required to lead, you forget what you've been telling others. Sometimes, it's because we feel we've gone far enough but have we? Are we really limited or are we just limiting ourselves? It's so hard to come to terms with the fact that you've lost sight of something not because you've been away from it but because you've been IN it for too long. That's really forgetting who you are. It's then that you know you've just been lolling in your own comfort zone, you've been slacking in serving.

It comes back to that sermon: you tell God you're doing so much for Him but do you realize who you're talking to? You're talking to the King who made the ULTIMATE sacrifice. ULTIMATE. That means nothing trumps it, at all. It's like getting the tiniest cut (almost invisible) on your toe and telling the guy who had to amputate both legs that you're emotionally traumatised for life. Really. Is what we're doing a very big sacrifice? Is it even a sacrifice? Nope. Just forgo the makeup, the pride, the whatever. People who don't know God, they don't know what kind of sacrifice they're comparing with. But we do. Just comparing your "sacrifice" with His sacrifice should be more than enough to make you bear with any discomfort in silence.

We have reached GP. Not General Paper. Growth Period. And we're actually complaining about it. We're complaining about bathing facilities. Complaining about opportunities that lie outside of our comfort zone. Would it hurt to rough it? I felt something big coming on, God prepared me for it. For me, if I'm organising camp, I make a point to hype it up. If I'm participating, I just wanna tone down a little, or even take the cue from those around me. God told me this camp is gonna be different. I was wondering how. Then my challenge came! I tell you, don't fool with God's timing. God showed up. I was struggling. "God what if _______, what if ______" God let me go on for quite a while, I think if I were Him, I would've either fallen asleep or cut the "what ifs" off halfway. No exact words here but He led me to realize that it's all been about me. Which what if was about God? None. He brought to mind my own prayer: "God, give me opportunities to grow, be it easy or hard, I wanna do it. I don't care about failing, my dignity would come from You because I'm only who I am because of You." You don't care right? He gave it to me but I have to fight for it. I took a deep breath. And I said let's go.

Out of my comfort zone. Who cares. Not who I usually am. Doesn't matter. I'm not leading a double-life anymore, I cannot be a leader of one group and hype it up and go to another and tune it down, that's not it. This is a time of learning for me and I'm going full steam. One needs to learn to follow before one can lead. One also needs to remember that while he is leading, he also needs to follow God. Makes no sense being somewhere where you have complete access to God and yet not reach out.

Let's go, step up and step out for God (: