all we need is You

I won't be blogging till the end of this week cos....
ITS EXAM WEEK!!!
Haha how fun.
Thank God it's only 1 week
After 4 years of exams spreading over 2 weeks, you are ecstatic to realise that it's only 1 week
I think the only down-side is that I have 3 papers on Friday
Chinese. Listening Comprehension. ELL.
Chinese is nutsss: 3hours and 15minutes
Listening comprehension is important cos I'm good at that LOL.
Helps me to save my grade.
Haha,I'm hoping that I get at least Bs and worse case scenario, Cs
I think this is ambitious, haha
But nothing lower HOPEFULLY
I want A for my Chinese LOL.
People, it's possible - read Philippians 4:13
I've had A LOT of miracles when it comes to Chinese
Since primary school LOL.
Every major Chinese exam is like a miracle for me

Nevermind.Chinese rocks,stones,pebbles and boulders.
Overdose of studying is taking its effect(:
Updates in a week (:

Rich or poor, God I want You more
Than anything that glitters in this world
Be my all, all consuming fire

You can have all my hands can hold
My heart, my mind, strength and soul
Be my all, all consuming fire

We have all we need in You
And all we need is You
All we need is You

I will learn to play this song man

Ecclesiastes 3:6 (The Message)
A right time to search and another to count your losses,
A right time to hold on and another to let go

encounter retreat

only one word to describe it: awesome
i've not felt so connected to God in a long time
each time i called out, He would tell me something new

i know i'm supposed to be free of all sin
and i did feel very relieved after confession and praise&worship
then i felt the heaviness set in again
i recognise it as the same thing that i experienced before confession
sister wanping was right to say that it would come back to haunt me
because it did, barely 10 minutes after it ended
i didn't understand the heaviness
i really couldn't figure it out
i mean wasn't i supposed to be free?
then i realised something:
God was showing me how hiding all my emotions would affect me
i didn't ask Him for that
but He knew just what i needed
i needed to feel it, think about it and then cast it out
only then can i overcome like He overcame
i know it's going to come back
when i least expect it, least need it and when i'm most likely to sin
that's the devil's mission: to drag me down with him to hell
but i have confidence in God
i know Jesus' mission when He was here was accomplished
i know He has redeemed me
it's up to me to lean on Him

it wasn't just an accumulation of emotions
it was an accumulation of fear
i can't describe how hard it was to shake that fear
the feeling of having it grip you is unbearable
and it makes you want to hold on to your desires more than ever
i was only able to shake it because of God
i didn't know what was happening
and i wanted so badly to let loose
to cry it all out
but there was something holding me back and i didn't know it
it hadn't come to me during confession, worship or anything before that
i felt like i couldn't shake it
but now i know
there is so much more meaning to things when you realise you're doing it on God's strength
now, i can cry out freely to Him
that clogged artery has been unblocked
thank God

latest news about my injury is that i will not be swimming competitively for the next 3 months
i can still swim leisurely
this is a new revelation that just came to me:
why i didn't thank God that i can at least swim leisurely?
why didn't i just thank Him for what He gave me, seeing that i was swimming for Him?
why was i feeling guilty and useless that i couldn't swim for Him?
simple: because i was not swimming for God but for personal honour and glory
this was the very thing i promised i wouldn't do
it wasn't an empty promise, i meant it at the point of time when i made that promise
but i deviated from my purpose
perhaps God doesn't even want me to swim but wants me to contribute in some other area
pride got to me
and got me deeply indulgent in self-pity and blame
what does it matter if i can no longer swim competitively?
thank God i can still swim leisurely
thinking negatively was already a sin
but it invited greater sin in
i nearly broke fast because of this emotional period
this is why our walk isn't just physical.
its mental and spiritual.
negative spirits came into me
they influenced me into thinking negative thoughts
and nearly got me doing some stuff God wouldn't want me to do
thank God for the workshop sister wanping gave about sin and God's armour
when God revealed this to me, i immediately thought of the hole in my armour getting bigger and bigger
thank God for this triumph
thank God for saving me

I used to sing this song all the time in sunday school
i'm listening to it now
the lyrics are something powerful
they are so true
He truly is my all in all

You Are My All In All

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up, I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down, You pick me up
When I am dry, You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

Dear God,
thank You so much.
not just for this revelation but for everything else You've given.
forgive me for thinking You were touching others and not me.
forgive me for not seeing blessings You gave.
forgive me for giving in to sin.
God, thank You for showing me that to be able to touch a corner of Your cloak, i have to be out there trying to reach You first.
i had to reach out to You before You could touch me.
thank You for blessing me.
thank You for continually speaking to me and erasing doubt.
thank You for taking away the weariness in my soul and the heaviness in my heart.
i owe You so much more than i can return.
thank You for answering my heart's cry.
i am forever Yours and i want You to know that.
words can't describe Your love.
what You did on the cross, wow.
i'm so in awe.
You alone are God.
thank You for being my Saving Grace.
in Jesus' name i pray,
amen

Redevoted To You

This is something that came to me suddenly this morning
But being a very obedient girl,I went to do my revision for exams first
And when I finally finished Chem,this is what I did(:
Give me half the chance
I'll make you understand
That what I got to give
Is so much more than this
Than you'll ever know
The stanza is from the song 'One Better' by Aaron Carter
I used to listen to it alot
But now it's music fasting period
Was kinda surprised this came but anyway
It's not a Christian song but it sort of got me thinking about chances in general
Each time we trust God,unconsciously we think that we're taking a chance
Think about it: God's the best chance we've ever got
God's been taking chances too: ON US
God took a chance on us when He sacrificed His Son
He could've chosen not to take this chance
But He did
We are tiny people on a tiny island on a tiny planet
There were greater things God could've chosen to bother about but He chose us
That's the biggest chance anyone has ever taken on you, on me and on the rest of mankind
And after sacrificing,God took more chances on us
Time and again, He took chances on our empty promises,knowing that it'd all fall apart
He keeps throwing chances and keeps believing and trusting us
God's so amazing
It was one huge chance and there were many more where that came from
This was meant to be a love song (duh)
But it got me thinking:
#1: Is what I have to give just this or more?
#2: God's taken so many chances on us,regardless of our repeated failure.Do we have that right to even say we're taking a tiny chance,let alone a big chance?
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Redevoted To You

I've made so many promises
Each time I give them all up
I know nothing's really lasted

And You gave me the chance
To be one of Your own
When I walk with You
I know I'll never be alone
Now I'm seizing that chance
Never letting go of You, God
Dedicating my life to You
Lord,I'm redevoted to You

I can't thank You enough
For all it is You've done
I know it's always been for me

And You gave me the chance
To be one of Your own
When I walk with You
I know I'll never be alone
Now I'm seizing that chance
Chasing after You, God
Dedicating my life to You
Lord, I'm redevoted to You

It's always been about me
It's never been about You
Now it's gonna be all for You

You took a chance on me
Made me Your very own
As I'm walking with You
Lord, I don't feel alone
Seizing this chance you gave
Chasing You with all I've got
I'm making my promise real
Lord, I'm redevoted to You

so many thoughts, just one post

thought 1:
someone asked me how it is that i can be so nice to her
when she seems to not bother
i mean, if she doesn't bother, then why should i right?
i know it's not within my means to control her
i don't have a right to tell her what to do
that's why i'm not forcing her
i want it to be God calling her
like how He drew me
if it's not God's timing, it's not the right timing
with God, there will always be second chances even when no one else thinks so
that's how people are saved
because they are given a chance
and they cherish that chance
i don't want to give up on her just because of that incident
God didn't give up on me
i dragged it for as long as i could
no doubt that she might as well
but that's what faith is all about
trusting God even when it seems impossible
that's when He'll show us that it pays to trust Him

thought 2:
things aren't always as they seem
i thought that the friendship with her was well something that was gonna last.
at least for this year and next year
but people change so the relationship changes
maybe i've changed
God's telling me to move on
and i know i will soon
i will always be a friend
but there is no way we can have the same friendship as before
and this will make another separation easier to make

thought 3:
it is time i started to really think about the advice i'm getting
not just nod and go yeahhhh
but really think about it
sometimes,it's not about what i want anymore
it is about what God wants now
it should've been from the start

thought 4:
i realise that no matter how much i think
even about certain issues
i can still focus on doing what i have to do
thank You
You know that i need to think about it
or else it'll just be harder when the time comes
You know i'll make a decision i'll regret if i don't think it through
there's a time and place for everything
and You give me all that
You help me make time for everything

thought 5:
i think i will separate from them
i will have to
i will feel so bad for some time
i don't think i could face any one of them after this
i don't think they'd go against me
but i cannot stand the disappointed looks
or the confused looks
or even worse: the questions "why?"
i wouldn't know what to say or what to do
ignore me: i think i'm just going nutsss (:
its important to know that i should be seeking favour from God rather than man
i don't know what i need
mannn,this is going to take more than me
but that's always been the case
everything takes more than just me
it takes God too

everybody tells me not to think
and to focus on what's important EXAMS
i know,thanks for all the concern
i promised i would manage the time the best i can
and i am trying
for those who believe i'm trying: thank you for believing
time will tell

i should employ my so-called annoying "personal tactic"

what's the truth?

after what i've experienced
i would rather people tell me the truth
than tell me what i want to hear

friends tell you the truth
brothers and sisters hammer the truth into you
not so that they get their way
or that they get to "exert their authority"
nahhh
they do it cos they want the best for you

well,not exactly hammer in my case
but still,the impact was there
i'm so glad i listened to you
thanks for trying to reason it out with me
i so didn't feel like it
so felt like rebelling(sounds so familiar) :)
or not doing it but saying i did
that's how bad it was that that thought even crossed my mind
even if for a few seconds
cos to me the whole thing seemed...unnecessary
i was protesting all the way from clementi to bukit panjang
was trying to get out of it and do things my way
thank God i didn't

you didn't force me into it
you let me make the decision on my own
thanks so much, love ya <3
then again,that i think about it
so did You
You are what makes life worth living

10 hours people
no phone
and it was on purpose
so i could 'focus' on my studies
and yeahhh i made it

unnecessary is how it feels at first
then God makes you realise that THAT'S what is holding you back
that's why you go into self-denial and try to rationalise it out on your own
worship is also about trusting God
even when it seems too difficult or too ridiculous or too unnecessary or too troublesome

just remember
He has His purpose
and we know from experience that it'll all pay off

today's post

thank you my sister, for travelling all the way to NUH just to wait with me
and hear the much anticipated verdict
i know you love me(:
haha,i love you so much too<3
just so you know,your presence made the difference
i'm very touched that you came
i see God's love through you

God i can never repay You enough
for the love You're shown
for the people You've sent
for the angels You've sent to watch over me time and again
for the treasures You've sent to bless me
for the gems You've sent for me to shower love upon

i've learned alot in one day
thank God for enlightening me
i am waiting for God to enlighten me again through timo on saturday
he'll be going into his pet topic then (:
i know it'll be yet another learning point
God,i'm humbled by Your existence alone

events come and go
but the memories,the lessons,the revelations
the renewed,refreshed relationship
these'll never be forgotten

passion versus obsession
obsession will disappear with time
obsession is having knowledge of something but your reason for your zeal is illogical,irrational
passion may diminish as well
but people who are truly passionate would constantly renew their passion
passion is also knowledge-based but you have a reason behind your zeal
passion is when you fall so deeply in love with something that you just want more
are we just zealous but with shallow perceptions?
are we obsessed but just cos it's cool, the current hype, you have no idea why?
are we truly passionate about God, so much so that we want to continually get closer to God and consistently chase after Him?
the fine line is right there.
sometimes,getting carried away with things mislead us into getting obsessed rather than passionate
it's not the things we do but our intention behind it all

tolerance versus patience
when you're tolerant,you give chances grudgingly
when you're patient,you give chances willingly
when you're tolerant,you stop trusting the person
when you're patient,you continue to trust and believe the person who messed up
when you're tolerant,you do not guide willingly and you don't support the person for fear of being hurt again
when you're patient,you guide willingly and you support the person even if it means you getting hurt
when you're tolerant,each time you "forgive",the emotions are still there,just hidden
when you're patient,each time you forgive,the emotions don't get carried forward to the next encounter
while we're all mostly tolerant,God is patient
He gives us so many chances even as we reject and hurt Him
He gives them freely and willingly and trusts us and guides us
He doesn't keep track of our sins;each case is separate and forgiven
that's what it means to be patient
that's what love is all about

my heart as a building
i feel that my heart really is like some sort of headquarters
i'm pretty sure everyone's hearts are like this too, just that nobody i know of has used this analogy
God is the caretaker
therefore,He has the all-clear to access anywhere in HQ
He can even enter in the dark times (at night) when everyone else cannot
but being the caretaker,He sometimes opens our heart from the inside to people on the outside because He knows they can help us
then of course, there are different levels of security during normal times (daytime)
the main door is open though only people with purpose enter the HQ
places these people can enter are then classified
1. Places accessed by using the common access card
2. Places accessed by using the moderated access card
3. Places accessed by using codes
4. Places accessed by using the thumbprint scanner
5. Places accessed by undergoing a THE WORKS scan (voice code patterns,eyeball scanners,you name it)
the trick is that once you have passed security at one level,you don't need to pass it again
automatically,you're given access
obviously,God's the caretaker so for Him, it's open access(:
for certain special special people
(you know who you guys are:i whine to you,jump with you,pray with you,laugh with you,cry with you,confide in you)
level 5: trust level is high enough,i trust them enough
these people can read me
they know my emotions
they can tell when things are bothering me
i see God's love shine through time and again
could never thank Him enough
so much so that every single night, i thank Him for their existence alone

why is it that i've known them all my life
yet i don't feel comfortable opening up to them
i trust them
i'd do anything for them
but my emotions are not something i'm willing to reveal to them
it's so strange, so weird, so sad
i so don't get it
what you said today made so much sense
i've thought about it so much
yet it's like they've only reached level 3
shouldn't be rightttt?
shouldn't they be at least at level 5?
the time period is so not proportionate
i wish i didn't have to think about this
but i want to
if i don't, i know this won't be the relationship i want
i realise that all this while,i never revealed emotions to them
it was all just opinions
fears,emotions were things i didn't reveal to them
so in time they don't understand me
i've always felt the need to cover up things in front of them
to appear strong,hiding became part of my act
just like how it was with cellgroup
i didn't reveal things at first
then its like this 'artery' was unclogged and it all flowed
now, i'm somehow more in control, more together
but somehow,this is something that didn't come through
why i don't know
i've just been 'acting' too long i guess?

food for thought
time to think about what i want with this relationship
but i know that to God, what matters is that i take the first step
what matters is that i try to involve them in this journey

tuesday's post

this video is really touching

can you imagine: this is the extent of His love

it didn't hit me as hard till i saw this video

God didn't stop loving even though it cost Him

Why should we stop loving Him once we have to sacrifice?

His sacrifice is something that is irreplaceable

For people whose hearts have been broken: He's the only one who can heal the wounds

For people who have messed up big time: He's the only one who can give you the strength to pick up the pieces

For people who feel empty, lost, upset: He's the only one who can make you whole again by filling your heart

Once you experience God in your life, you never want to let go

You only want more

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the fast has been going good(:

its true, when you make God's desires yours, it doesn't seem as painful.

it was tough but it's getting easier each day

perhaps this is what worship is truly about:

making His ways your ways

making His plan your plan

making His values your values

we put aside our emotions for God

we'd do anything for Him, sacrifice anything for Him

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thank You for helping me do the right thing

i doubted from the start

but as i trusted You, i could feel You helping me

every step of the way

i know You're here

because i cried out in my heart for help and You heard me

thank You

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God recently showed me how important words are

how words can help someone who's broken

- thank You for helping me pick her up.i know You were speaking to me,telling me what to say to her.thank You.Your words healed her,i just repeated them.only You can heal her wounds.the scars will remain but they will fade in time.these are scars only the world's greatest surgeon can remove.soon,it will be without a trace.trust me and trust God.

how words could help the situation if they had been said earlier

- i should've listened to You.that voice in my head telling me what to say but i wasn't courageous enough to trust You.now,i know better.we learn along the way.and You helped to make things better.no matter how bad my choices may be,You've always made them good.i want to renew my trust fall with You.

how words that did not go unsaid should have gone unsaid

- again,i should've listened to You.things would not have turned out this way.but you made me realise how wrong i was,how the misconception even started.i know You'll change things.You've already started stirring up something.only You can turn this around.it's in Your hands.

how apologies can make a difference

- thank You for helping me.i may not have had the courage at first but You gave me the courage.no matter what others say,i know i did the right thing.no matter who's against me,i know i did what You wanted me to do.i wished i had done it sooner but i know it's about Your timing.i know You'll make everything better.things will change but it's Your will and i know that's something great right there.

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worship is a lifestyle

i think i'm actually looking forward to wednesday (:
yup,i think it should be good
probably nothing too serious, whatever i've heard recently has been relatively positive so hoping for the best.

MIDYEARS
i guess i'm sort of getting somewhere, finally
revision is progressing ever so slowly but slow and steady wins the race, people
wow, but i gotta do better than what i got for CA
then again, it's pretty hard to do any worse
but yesss,must put in more effort
i welcome tutors of all shapes and sizes(:

WORSHIP
awesome...i can see why there was so much buzz and hype about him
backtracking to cellgroup before the service
i learnt a lot here but i'll just say 3 "VERY IMPORTANT LESSONS"
lesson 1: always sit down first and stay there cos seating arrangement is important
lesson 2: don't forget what you wrote for service feedback cos peijun will ask you to share and you'll be frantically trying to recall
lesson 3: when the person before you takes your point, take out your notebook really really fast and flipflipflip INCONSPICUOUSLY (if you can)
THIS is what you learn in cellgroup.
peijun, i know you want to faint (don't worry, i learnt more than this)
hmm,i made a mistake by not implementing lesson 3 so i stammered through the whole thing
i don't think i even said much :X
anyways,i think that was an important discussion,you hear everyone's views and if you pay close attention, certain things will impact you
perspectives you don't usually hear.

worship is THE way of life (not kungfu)

i remember what he said: even in the midst of your hard times, you run to Jesus and come out of your comfort zone to worship.
yesss, makes sense
no matter what happens, it's God first and just trusting Him is enough
after one comes another but it's not over cos God's here(:
i want to make my life ABOUT worship because that's my purpose.
and i believe that thaat's everybody's purpose as well
what makes our purposes different is what kind of worship God meant to dominate our life: music, leading, etc.
hmm i think we all have our own callings but they come from THE ONE

my first H2 paper is in 2 weeks
and i've got nothing
oh man, time to hustle

it's going to be hard
shuffling between all the appointments
and trying to get studytime in
and keeping up with other stuff
hard is no sign that i'm stopping here
it just means i'll work harder, pray more and trust in faith

finished the photo collages today
i think that's like a major load off my mind
now, we're left with food preparation and the actual event
then i'm going to try to be free of all that stuff
i think i really cannot afford to monkey around anymore
i remember how much clowning around was going on just now
and i really don't want that

yes, time to get serious
about God as my #1 priority
and therefore, the "career path" i'm in for the time being will be something i'm going to work on
God-given responsibility deserves more attention than what i've been giving it

praypraypray (:
i don't ever wanna take my eyes off You
been there, done that, never wanna go back

mini thankyou list(there are more but these are the few i could squeeze out in time)
peijun: you've been an amazing encouragement.thankyou sooo much.i thank God for bringing you into my life.couldn't have done it without you, my dear sister,and i mean that(: i feel His love through you and thankyou for always being there<33
szern: your humour never fails to brighten my day and it's stress-relieving.like therapeutic.anyway,thankyou for helping me to relax and not be so stressed(: it's been awesome knowing you and thankyou for always reassuring me that you're here if i need to talk!
bel: my dearest aunt(: always showering me with care and concern.and forever treating me like some clumsy little kiddo but thanks a million for the love(:
shuen: haha we didn't use to talk much but i'm glad we have recently.ready to go nuts and be serious with me all at once,that's one thing i love about you haha.thankyou for like caring so much and for the advice(:
timo: timooooo haha.like i said,awesome having a friend like you and thanks for the concern and encouragement.somehow,you seem to know the right thing to say.it's crazy but well,i've benefited so much from your advice.thanks for being a brother(:
luwei: thankyou for your prayers,your concern and your encouragement!haha i'm touched,thanks really(:
hey guys,thankyou so much.really really.i don't know how i would've made it.thankyou for the encouragement and the positivity you guys practically radiate(: you're all amazing and i'm glad each and every one of you is in my life
GOD: i can never comprehend Your love.so amazing.so overwhelming.these few days are easier to go by because You've given me these people.i cannot imagine life without You working in my life.i thank You with everything i've got because without You,i wouldn't have survived.

God is in control
I know cos He walked with me

Take Your Place

Lost stuck
Nothing seems to go right
Broken
Crying out through the night
Until You took those tears away
You helped me stand up again

Been searching so long
Now it's over
I've found a love that'll last forever

Come and stay
Stay within me
Take Your place
Within this heart of worship
Come and reign
Reign over me
Take Your place
As the centre of my life

Envy
That never seemed to fade
Anger
Twisting how I was made
Until You calmed the storm within
You saved me from all my sin

Scared
I would lose all I see
Empty
Nothing could complete me
Until You lifted my downcast face
Held me in Your loving embrace

Yes God, You're amazing
Thank You for everything
No matter how we feel
You're always there. always picking us up
Holding us so we stand strong

Nobody But You

Believe it or not, this song came about because of Timo and Shuen's 'performance' of the other song with the same title by somebody else.
I remembered laughing my head off at Timo and Shuen's performance outside the Prayerhouse and it STUCK in my head so bad!!
Thank you Timo and Shuen (:

Nobody But You
Who would love just like You
Who would save just like You
It was a great sacrifice
That none could ever suffice

Laid down my heart and my soul
Kneeling in front of Your throne

Just gotta say
I love You, Lord
And Jesus, there's none like You
Just wanna say
I love You, Lord
I want nobody but You

Who could strengthen me each day
Who could give hope of a way
I'm held by this faith in You
I know You'll carry me through

Laid down my heart and my soul
Kneeling in front of Your throne

Just gotta say
I love You, Lord
And Jesus, there's none like You
Just wanna say
I love You, Lord
I want nobody but You

You give peace like an everflowing river
And I know You are there through any weather
I am in a love that will last forever
Oh Jesus, to me, You are all that matters

Just gotta say
I love You, Lord
And Jesus, there's none like You
Just wanna say
I love You, Lord
I want nobody but You

Thank God(:

RC

radical conference was awesomeee (:
i learnt alot and i feel that this conference has been of help to me
felt His presence so strongly, it was unbelievable
i don't know what song that it but there was this particular part that went:
'You have won the victory....You have won it all for me'
yesss, spoke to me man
it's a spiritual battle: i can choose to be all withdrawn and everything or i can choose to go about like it doesn't affect me negatively but rather it has made me stronger.
and it has actually
it's helped me be more appreciative of the wonderful people around me.
back to the conference.
the sermons were really good and the speakers were phenomenal
God uses people to speak to other people and He used pastor chris, pastor dave, pastor greg and the shirelive band to make this conference radical

yeahh because of this thing, i've been like very focused on myself
not enough on God and His multiple blessings around me, each and every one more important to me than this
then last week, during praise and worship, i told Him i didn't want it to affect me anymore
that i wanted this to be something that would help strengthen me rather than pull me down
after giving it to God, my relationships improved, particularly with my family
it became easier to spend time with them
previously, i realised that i kept thinking that they wouldn't understand and therefore, i need not bother trying to explain to them
like there was no point
lots better now (:

after relationships were more or less a little more stable, i got thinking about grades and all
cos this thing is very likely to affect the grades which are, well, not so good anyway
then i kept thinking about it
and of course, thought about where i could try to cut back on to get more time
and yes, i did think about cutting back on the time i spent with God
then the sermon of devotion came in
it's crazy how God arranges things to help clear doubt
in the songs following the altercall, i was pretty much praying about devoting
that God just made me think about how i thought of "shaving" time off from my devotion to Him
it was like, don't keep thinking about the grades
what about putting a grade to your spiritual life?
is what i'm doing making the grade at all?
farrrr from it, there's much way to go and this spiritual walk is more important than anything else
the last thing i want is to slide back to how things used to be
now that was empty living

thank you all for your prayers (:
they are much appreciated
and you are much loved!
thank God for you (:

I may not have heard half of what you prayed for me because of the loud environment but thanks, really (:
love you so much, my sister and friend <3

still i'd wait

You'll Come by Hillsong United
I have decided I have resolved
To wait upon You, Lord
My rock and redeemer, shield and reward
I'll wait upon You, Lord

As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
As certain as the dawn appears

You'll come let Your glory fall
As You respond to us
Spirit rain, flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come

We are not shaken We are not moved
We wait upon You, Lord
Mighty deliverer, triumph and truth
We wait upon You, Lord

As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as Your Word endures

You'll come let Your glory fall
As You respond to us
Spirit rain, flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come

Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed



Nope, nothing will hold me back
That's another promise: to you and to God
No matter what happens, I know He'll carry me through
To reassure me, He's even given me you
And so much more
No words to describe His love

Fasting has you enter into a whole new dimension
It opens your eyes to see the greater beauty of God
It brings you to a whole new level of trust and reliance
It takes you deeper into a relationship you'd never want to let go of

does speaking in tongues start out with hearing it in your head?
it's so weird, i think i'm just delusional
messed up brain
but not a messed up heart :)

never could i doubt Your love

i am so tired of doing those facebook "how well do you know __________?" quizzes.
because i always do soooo badly ):
like pathetic mannnn
the winner of the "worst quiz alex did" award is angela's quiz.
a wonderful 11%
FAILLLLL lol :/
those quizzes are just badddd LOL

i really want to trust
with all i have
but when it keeps coming back
it's all a different story
i'm not unfallable
i'm not unshakable
but i will try

there's so much i have to say
but i don't know where to start
and end up not saying at all
hmm not good
but i will try

i don't understand why this is affecting me so much
it shouldn't be that way because before i told people and before i found out, there was this peace
there was a certain expected outcome
not being negative but when the inevitable is here, naturally, you've gotta accept it

i think there's a difference between acting strong and staying strong
acting strong is covering up
staying strong is actually dealing with it
i don't know where i am because it wavers
like i said, every time it comes back, the confidence is shaken
i really don't know
i don't need the pity, i really don't
the last thing i need is to indulge in the self-pity again and let history repeat
i promised not to push you away
i really want to keep that promise
to me, promises have a special meaning
and i remember promises, especially those that i really think about
i don't want to give this up
i don't want to appear strong and i want to be strong
there are times that i can't help it
i know You'll carry me through
i just need to trust You enough to hold me

no more acting strong
now's the time to be strong
and i rely on You more than ever

it's awesome that You've given me people to lean on
it's even more awesome that i have You to lean on

i can't imagine life without You and Your love
i can't imagine life without You watching my back

thank You for giving me a supportive family
thank You for my brothers and sisters

thank You for giving me a best friend
thank You for that treasure from above